Hump This !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello to everyone out there in the real world. (Wow the real world - that would make a great reality television show) Oh well!!! So it is another wonderful day in the neighborhood. Yesterday I found myself looking straight into the eyes of the beast; I had reached my boiling point. You see we have used and abused all the misfits and they have all quit and moved on to bigger and better things. I find myself being told by Betty that she would like me to start cleaning rooms and arranging furniture. HMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS A COLASSAL WASTE OF TIME as the misfits on the construction crew have not finished the Swiss style rooms. They are in and out of them on a daily basis, painting, sanding, plumbing, calking, pounding, nailing, etc, etc, etc. Why is this so hard for Betty to understand? Why would we even consider putting very expensive linens and such in these rooms? KIDS WHAT IS THE LESSON TO BE LEARNED HERE? Count to ten, breath and then count to ten again, breath - you better count to ten again and then breathe. Then calmly but sternly state your position, explain the unfolding events that have lead you to have a mini melt down on the owner (Betty).

She just doesn't understand the need to completely finish a room before setting it up and cleaning it. It is beyond funny now because it is just heightened levels of frustration. It is really like watching a flock of headless chickens jumping on each other and running all over the place getting no where quick. Are you getting a visual? So as I am telling Betty my concerns for a lack of labor, poor organization, improper planning and strategy, she changes the subject. Now this woman is skilled at doing this and deflects the negative energy away and doesn't acknowledge there is a problem. So I am not even sure she got the message and remember these are legitimate concerns and hinder the progress of the opening. We are now over a year past the scheduled deadline. And so it continues........................................

Oh I forgot to mention one of the misfit toys (Liberace) sent his dad down to pick up his candelabra. We explained to his dad that we would not or could not give him Liberace’s candelabra. He seemed disoriented, dazed, confused and drunk. I am not even sure if it was Liberace’s dad, it could have been one of the local town crazies....... Auf Wiedersehen KIDS............

SO here we are again another Mother Fucking Monday. Sorrry we didn't post last week, it was a holiday for crying out loud. Is anyone reading this, Please comment so I know your out there, I feel like I am doing this for nothing. Well I had an interesting weekend, I am supposed to be moving into this house and I have not been able to do so as the previous tenants left it a disaster and I needed a snow shovel and 100 contracter bags to get all there crap out of the house. What is it with people these days, no respect for themselves or other peoples property. Back in the day, people like these crack heads would have been thrown in the streets without batting an eye. It took my landlords 2 months to get these bastards out of the house. When then were finally removed by the Sherriff they were threatning to come back and kill the landlords. It was a frightning experience. The guy looked like a professional wrestler on crack. Needless to say we are back at work today.

Betty is here today with Two, she is crazy. Asking the same old questions she always asks and doesn't have a clue what she is doing. Telling us Fred has broke down and doesn't know how to proceed. We all have been questioning were all the misfit toys have been, because no one is working on the Hotel. I am thinking that all the misfits are in the Hair Salon getting primped.

I was asked what we should do to proceed and get the hotel moving towards completion........ LOL. Are you freaking kidding me? Why would I/we go in and start cleaning when they are still plastering, painting, plumbing, wiring everything that is consistant with contract work. THIS IS INSANE..................... SOME ONE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF DARK CHOCALATE......... SAVE ME FROM THIS NIGHTMARE.

Just so you know I keep a couple razor blades in my desk drawer....... just in case... LOL

Have a great week KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Enjoy the summer and stay out of trouble. We have a bunch of people to relocate again this week as you already know the hotel will not be opening anytime soon!!!!!!!!!!!! There is just something about a knife in Shirley Temples hands at someones throat that seems to sum up today!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL Sui unukar an ro

Four

MOTHER FUCKER MONDAY

Two (again our ring leader of this circus side freak show) has decided Monday's will hence been known as Mother Fucker Mondays. You see his brand new computer has crashed and that means no internet porn (makes him very cranky), of course Betty is just Betty and it is Monday after all. This morning the Office Keepers had a discussion about the opening of the hair salon and the brainless wonder that is Betty. It was more important to open the hair salon then to focus the Misfits on the hotel. Thank goodness we have planted a spy in the salon, he is working as shampoo boy/receptionist and he tells us everything, let us call him 7 ...... LOL

Betty (for reasons unkown to us at this point and time) has decided to pay 7 in Pesos rather then in a traditional over the table method (a paycheck). Of course Betty lies and tells 7 that she can pay him by check but it could take weeks, but I can pay you under the table in cash. 7 just opts for whatever is easiet and Betty promises to be back later in the day to pay him. She never shows so 7 does not get paid. More lies. So here is an employee working for free, take that lesson and write it down for future reference. All the drama, it would be so much easier to just do it legal and avoid all the fuss. With all the talk about the illegal aliens invading valley from Mexico, you would think Fred and Betty would be on the up and up. HMMMMM makes me wonder if their mother ship will ever come back to pick them up. I bet the Mother ship left them behind on purpose..... Damn aliens - ilegal and space!!!!!!!!!!!!

Totsiens Kids.......................

Four

Should I Care Friday!!!!

Here is the post to make up for should I care Friday. We decided early in the week we would cross the Swiss border and head down to Mexico for a little fiesta lunch. We the Office keepers were planning to indulge in some nachos & tacos. As we neared the border and paid the fair for the Mexican/Swiss tunnel we noticed the road back into the Swiss Valley was 6 or 7 miles long as it was a Mexican holiday and the terror alert was raised to high as there were incidents in the United Kingdom. As we made it to the border the Mexican gate keeper informed us the wait to get back into the Swiss Valley would be about 3 hours. "Damn", we thought what a colossal mistake this lunch trip turned out to be. So we opted to jump on board the next Hot Air Balloon Shuttle back into the Swiss Valley. As we re-entered the valley the Swiss gatekeeper asked what we were doing in Mexico. We explained our situation and he looked as us as though we had lost our minds. He took our passports and checked that we were not terrorist scum bags and we were on our way. Still hungry we opted for lunch at the local rug rat infested Chunky Cheddar's for pizza. The days events led me to ponder "Should I Care? After all it is Friday"

Have a good weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Me ho wo ekyene Kids...................

Catching up For Thursday!!!

Okay I am making up for last Thursday and Friday's posts Its MOFO Monday and I will write another post. Right now I have to catch up from last week as we did not post like we should. So I was sitting in the cave on Thursday enjoying my lunch and internet porn like I do everyday and in walks Eddy. Looking like the degenerate Snowboarder he is. So he doesn't say a word and grabs the slide projector and puts it under his arm and proceeds to leave. The dumb ass didn't unplug it and ripped the cord out of the wall. Dumb Ass!!! They should send him away for the summer to camp. (maybe a camp for guys to learn how to be cool) Na! he is too beyond that. I asked him if he needed any help and he said no as he is ripping the electric outlet out of the wall. So now we have nothing to use for training. Not that it matters as the Swiss Style Hotel is never going to open anyway. So I will continue to twirl my thumbs and pretend I am doing something. All in a days fun here in the cave in the valley of MisFit Toys. We really need to explain why we named our town the valley of MisFit Toys. Perhaps in another post as it truly needs to be explained to be appreciated. Posting again real soon Kids.............. Salamat qalìn

Four

Where have All The Tuesday Treats Gone????

We arrived today to find that all the Tuesday Treats had been stolen from Our Cave. Our Cave, which is located at the top of a snow covered mountain, is the place we work from well waiting for the hotel in the valley to be finished. We do not have heat or ac here in The Cave so at times it is very very chilly. Our Tuesday Treats are one of the few things that bring us joy here in The Cave that and our Hump Day Porn. From time to time, 666, better now as Betty, and her children come up from The Burrow (their house in the valley) and visit The Cave after we workers have left. This morning we noticed that all our Tuesday Treats had been eaten. Our yummy jelly donuts with sprinkles and icing, our peanut butter filled pretzels and our smooth hot coco. OH, who could do such a mean and nasty thing to us. They are gone, gone, all gone. But don't despair sweet Tuesday Treats, we will find you!!!!! The authority's have been contacted and an APB has been issued. Justice will be served. We workers and our Tuesday Treats will not be treated so harshly.

Have a Super Tuesday Kids ............. Hágoónee'

Four

Today's Lesson in Business Ethics - When All Else Fails, LIE!

Okay Kids,

Today we will take a lesson from Fred and Betty's code of business ethics. When all else fails, LIE. Thats right kids, I said, "LIE" Here in the valley we will manipulate any weed and make it a rose. Whether you are talking to the press, future hotel patrons or the misfit toys themselves, LIE. I said it and you can lie to make all your problems go away. Here are a few expamples that will help you become a great hotel proprietor some day:

Example 1. You find your not going to meet your opening deadline again and everyone is asking questions......... HMMM what should you do.......... Just lie, pretend the question asked is the silliest thing you have every heard and deny the hotel will not be ready..

Example 2. Ok you missed your deadline and folks have come in from all over the Swiss Province to spend the night. What to do, most people would have angina at this point, not you... Simply lie, Offer them a nice comfortable tent and sleeping bag down in the meadow, tell them this is four star service and this is Swiss service at its finest. Crisis averted, maybe not. HMMM just lie again - just blame someone else. After all this is the Valley of Misfit Toys no one expects too much.

Example 3. Ok final example kids. Your Uncle and his partner are ballooning in for a committment ceremony. You have reassurred them everything is ready from the flowers to the punch to the committment cake. Your Uncle and his partner are in the balloon and flying over Misfit Valley. They arrive to find the doors have been barracaded with a stop work order and the caterers sit in there trucks waiting to get in. OH NO!!! HOW DO YOU GET OUT OF THIS ONE? RELAX KIDS, just LIE. Blame Charlie in the Box and the Toy Train with square wheels for their incompetence. Then simply set up the reception by the Johnny on the spots, throw some white netting over the out houses and again pretend that everything is great. Sure you look like a fool, but you have successfully lied your way out of another sticky situation.

Oh, look at the time I have to go.... Another job interview were I will have to lie and tell the job candidate how smoothly everything is going. If I decide to hire this person I will have to lie again and tell them to start in a few weeks, when in fact I know it will be 3 or 4 months before the beautiful Swiss Style Hotel and Salon will open.

I love my job.............

Bye for now KIDS......................... Otshikale la wolo

FOUR